https://www.telegraph.co.uk/.../10167070/Bob-Hope-his-20-best-one-liners.html 's, Dies at 100 Associated Press Bob Hope entertained American servicemen at the airstrip in Munda, New Georgia, an … I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. More comedians, more quotes! Comedian Redd Foxx, singer Lola Falana , and a dozen “American Beauties,” among others, joined Hope on that tour. Picture: Rex Features, 'A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.' Picture: Rex Features, 'She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.' Quotes and One Liners Author: Bob Hope Page 2 My parents were English; we were too poor to be British. "Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional." Bob Hope with George Burns and Groucho Marx in 1976. Quotations by Bob Hope, American Comedian, Born May 29, 1903. And sometimes it meant being on call at all times of the day or night. I … For years, Erie has played the starring role in the tale of Bob Hope’s storybook wedding to his wife, Dolores. The Road to Bali starred Hope, Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour. Picture: Rex Features, 'Welcome to the Academy Awards – or as it`s known at my house, Passover.' Hope, twirling his golf club and delivering one-liners, was a huge hit. Bob Hope Entertaining Troops Somewhere in England was painted by Floyd Davis in 1943. Hope, Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour. The good news is that Jesus is coming back. Quotations by Bob Hope, American Comedian, Born May 29, 1903. He met Queen Elizabeth II on several occasions. Share with your friends. 's, Dies at 100. 67 Copy quote. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. You have an eight-pound ham.' You can share any bit of funny information, piece of trivia too or tell a story about this comedian here too! Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation. Picture: AP, 'Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. Red Nose Day 2021: what time is the Comic Relief telethon on tonight and who will be performing? Jan 31, 2016 - Martin Chilton picks some of Bob Hope's finest one-liners Hope's jokes have been the cornerstone of his showbiz act. Hope's jokes have been the cornerstone of his showbiz act. Born in 1903, Bob Hope was a British-born American entertainer and comic actor known for his rapid-fire delivery of jokes and one-liners, as well as his success in virtually all Hope moved to Bristol before emigrating with his parents to the USA in 1908. 'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother: 'Congratulations. You can share any bit of funny information, piece of trivia too or tell a story about this comedian here too! Some one-liners from Bob Hope's joke file, on display at the Library of Congress. That's where movies go when they die.' Bob Hope, KBE (honoraria), KCSG, (Eltham, Reino Unido; 29 de mayo de 1903 - Toluca Lake, California; 27 de julio de 2003), nacido como Leslie Townes Hope, fue un artista estadounidense nacido en Inglaterra, que durante más de sesenta años de carrera apareció en teatro, radio y televisión, en películas de cine, y en actuaciones para el ejército de los Estados Unidos They’re all running for the presidency.” Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. Why British TV comedy is in decline, Rhod Gilbert: Stand Up to Infertility, review: Male infertility is no joke, but laughs needn’t be taboo, Stewart Lee on punks, ghosts and why he won't do gigs on Zoom, ‘I’m gonna kill you’: Telegraph critics’ run ins with celebrities, ‘We got an obscene amount of money from Jack Whitehall’: the Frog and Bucket on comedy after Covid, Sitcom star and Oscar winner Cloris Leachman dies aged 94. Bob Hope was regarded by fans and peers alike as a master of the stand-up gag. Picture: Reuters, 'Television. Picture: PA/Rex Features, 'I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.' Bob Hope kept nearly every joke ever written for him — the good, the bad, the keepers, and the rejects — in a voluminous joke file locked away in a vault in his Toluca Lake, California, home. No quotes? Picture: AP, 'When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.' Picture: Reuters, 'I grew up with six brothers. Help us to expand our database and send best quotes from Bob Hope you know by using the form below. Hope hosted the Academy Awards fourteen times. Leslie Towns "Bob" Hope ( May 29, 1903 – July 27, 2003 ) is credited by many to be one of the founding fathers of stand-up comedy.His rapid-fire delivery of one-liners made him a legend on the stage, in film, on the radio, and on TV. Picture: AP, 'I left England when I was four because I found out I could never be King.' That's how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.' 35 Classic One-liners About Aging. 157 He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time." Show business is just to pay the green fees" "I set out to play golf with the intention of shooting my age, but I shot my weight instead!" His views are pretty much like yours.' Hope was making animal jokes in the 1952 film Son of Paleface and two decades later was still wisecracking with animal themes. Hope played golf with many U.S. presidents over the years. - Explaining why his family emigrated to the USA when he was four. Bob Hope, seen here in the 1947 film My Favourite Brunette. We always had a light jab for each other. Hope offered many quips and quotations over the years about the game he loved, many of them self-deprecating barbs about his own game. Bob Hope's one-liners. “He got a standing ovation from the minute he came on,” Ronning said. They were Bob Hope's joke doctors, his gag men. Here are some of the one-liners over the years which helped to make Bob Hope the incomparable comic that he was: "I felt I wasn't getting anywhere in England." 12/04/2011 02:42 pm ET Updated Feb 03, 2012 I don't plan to grow old gracefully. Hope received numerous awards and honors for his work as an entertainer and humanitarian. Bob Hope, pictured with Jane Russell. But my wife said she wouldn't want to move into a smaller house.' Frank Sinatra, Bob Hope and Sammy Davis Jnr in 1973. Bob Hope (2004). That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. Bob Hope. Jesus, Pissed Off, News. ... Bob Hope. Picture: Rex Features, 'Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands.' If you remember Bob Hope, you’ll really enjoy this. Picture: Rex Features, 'Watergate gave dirty politics a bad name' Bob Hope and President Richard Nixon in 1969, at the White House. Calamity Jane is dispatched to find out who's smuggling rifles to the Indians, and winds up married to a hapless correspondence-school dentist as part of her cover. The papers were just signed by President Kennedy and Betty Crocker. From a wide repertoire, here is a small selection of his wit and wisdom: On childhood: I said when I could no longer hear the sound of laughter. Bob Hope special, based on his book "Don't shoot, it's only me" Sept. 15, 1990 He recently donated 88,000 pages of comedy material, including many of his classic one-liners, to the Bob Hope Gallery of Entertainment at the Library of Congress. Laughter, Vacation, Instant. Bob Hope died aged 100 on July 27, 2003. ON TURNING 70 ‘I still chase women, but only downhill.’ ON TURNING 80 Bob Hope Stand Up Jokes "Golf is my profession. His maternal grandmother was Welsh. What did Bob Hope do? Picture: Reuters, 'I thought about running for the presidency. More comedians, more quotes! Enjoy the best Bob Hope Quotes at BrainyQuote. Starting in 1960, Hope hosted a tournament on the PGA Tour, the Bob Hope Classic (it is now called the CareerBuilder Challenge; Hope's name was dropped following his death). We urge you to turn off your ad blocker for The Telegraph website so that you can continue to access our quality content in the future. We rely on advertising to help fund our award-winning journalism. We always had a light jab for each other. I consider myself very fortunate. Following is our collection of funniest Bob Hope jokes.There are some bob hope ronnie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Bob Hope, Actor: The Ghost Breakers. Bob Hope, seen here in the 1947 film My Favourite Brunette. Help us to expand our database and send best quotes from Bob Hope you know by using the form below. Bob Hope (1903-2003): I remember my staff asking me when I was going to retire. Bob Hope, whose mastery of the comic monologue and the topical wisecrack carried him from vaudeville to … He joked that he still had a bit of British him, adding "In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade". Bob Hope (seen here aged around six) made a joke in 1990 about Macaulay Culkin, then aged around nine, when he found world fame as star of the first Home Alone film. "It gave dirty politics a bad name." The following are from December 1953: "You should have seen the Christmas cards I got this year. I owe everything to my family and my make-up man. "The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. No quotes? Picture: Rex Features, 'Remember me? 35 Classic One-liners About Aging. From a wide repertoire, here is a small selection of his wit and wisdom: On childhood: In 1978, she made Hope an honorary knight. This unusual futuristic home in Palm Springs, California was commissioned by Bob Hope and his wife Dolores from the famous American architect John Lautner. 12/04/2011 02:42 pm ET Updated Feb 03, 2012 I don't plan to grow old gracefully. The Macaulay Culkin of 1927.' I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet. “Bob Hope”, Hyperion 6 Copy quote. Hope with Bing Crosby in the 1947 film The Road to Rio. The War with Grandpa is yet another ill-advised foray into comedy by Robert De Niro, How Drop the Dead Donkey broke the news – and its cast, Comedy’s finest crack-up: how Reginald Perrin made middle-class monotony funny, Enter a CGI Midsummer Night's Dream, plus the best of March’s online theatre, AI: When a Robot Writes a Play, plus the best of February’s online theatre & comedy, How Two Pints of Lager broke comedy’s class ceiling: ‘There was no one like us in the BBC canteen’, The chaos behind Frasier: how an eccentric star and a stuck-up dog made a comedy classic, ‘We’d have loved to do outdoor gigs in April’: the live comedy scene tries to see the funny side, Has the BBC lost its sense of humour? When I was a teen-ager, I sort of hated Bob Hope. Hope was born Leslie Townes Hope on May 29, 1903 in Eltham, England, and died on July 27, 2003, aged 100. Marlon Brando called him an "applause junkie", while Woody Allen said he had a "huge well of natural joy". He was revered for his dedication to entertaining U.S. military personnel during 50 years of participating in USO tours. Opinions about Bob Hope sharply differed. 122 quotes. They're not laughing now." Martin Chilton picks some of Bob Hope's finest one-liners, 'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother: 'Congratulations. Picture: Reuters, 'Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.' Bob Hope: I guess you've heard that the sale of American wheat to Russia is final. #dancing; Elvis is just a young, clean-cut American boy who does in public what everybody else does in private. Bob Hope, Master of One-Liners and Friend to G.I. Anthony Jeselnik quotes. Bob Hope, Master of One-Liners and Friend to G.I. George Burns. Hope was born in Eltham and his family moved to the United States in 1907, settling in Cleveland, Ohio. Picture: Reuters, 'I thought Deep Throat was a movie about a giraffe.' And that's the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!' All of us did. Bob Hope: legendary one-liners. The following are from December 1953: "You should have seen the Christmas cards I got this year. This is a tribute to a man who DID make a difference. The latest offers and discount codes from popular brands on Telegraph Voucher Codes, Red Nose Day for Comic Relief 2021, review: James Bond and Catherine Tate's Nan shine on hit-and-miss night. With Bob Hope, Jane Russell, Robert Armstrong, Iris Adrian. Jan 31, 2016 - Martin Chilton picks some of Bob Hope's finest one-liners Comedian Bob Hope was born Leslie Townes Hope in Eltham, London, England, the fifth of seven sons of Avis (Townes), light opera singer, and William Henry Hope, a stonemason from Weston-super-Mare, Somerset. I grew up with six brothers. Bob Hope special, based on his book "Don't shoot, it's only me" Sept. 15, 1990 Directed by Norman Z. McLeod. Hope was born Leslie Townes Hope … People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Hope in his white golfing jumper, in 1987. Bob Hope was regarded by fans and peers alike as a master of the stand-up gag. For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents – they’ll thank you for bringing back the memories! I said when I could no longer hear the sound of laughter. Bob Hope's one-liners. Hope in the films Nothing But the Truth, The Paleface and The Road to Hong Kong. At the Bob Hope Classic, Hope's pairing usually including a former president, often Gerald Ford. Gallery compiled by Martin Chilton @MartinChilton Picture: EPA, Senior hospital consultant sues over sexual harassment ban, Middle class students with 'model answers' will have an advantage this year, warns Ofqual adviser. ... Bob Hope. Share with your friends. Enjoy the best Bob Hope Quotes at BrainyQuote. Bob Hope kept nearly every joke ever written for him — the good, the bad, the keepers, and the rejects — in a voluminous joke file locked away in a vault in his Toluca Lake, California, home. Generationally crazy about the classics of American comedy—Groucho and Chaplin and … Anthony Jeselnik quotes. Bob Hope. Quotes & Jokes by Bob Hope. July 29, 2003. Picture: Rex Features, 'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.' You have an eight-pound ham.' Are there any comedians today who could fill Tommy Cooper's fez? I remember my staff asking me when I was going to retire. No worries! Picture: Handout, 'You can always tell when a man's well-informed. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Bob Hope was a British-born American entertainer and comic actor known for his jokes and one-liners, as well as his success in the entertainment industry and his decades of overseas tours to entertain American troops. And President Ford was infamous for beaning spectators with wayward shots. He said: "That never stopped you before". He said: "That never stopped you before". Picture: AP, 'I have too much money invested in sweaters.' Picture: Reuters, 'A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.' And in the '70s, he made inflation funny. No worries! I … Bob Hope's Quotes About Other Golfers . 175 – Bob Hope profile quotes. One of our stock lines used to be "There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me. Some one-liners from Bob Hope's joke file, on display at the Library of Congress. Bob Hope’s Joke about the great number of Democrats running for president in 1988: “The Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. Tue, Jul 29, 2003, 01:00 . Self-Deprecating barbs about his own game at my house, Passover. to be near my money. send Quotes! 12/04/2011 02:42 pm ET Updated Feb 03, 2012 I do n't plan have... 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